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Would you say,"What is right with you?.....!!!!!!!!!! or.......
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Posted by
amdwin
Monday, April 01, 2002
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Brothers and Sisters: regarding the article that I typed in here, I hope there will be somebody to reply to it honestly, no matter how bad it is because I need to know how it could be transformed into something beneficial for me and for others. It is important for me not only in the latihan but also in the society, that I should know my self better. Therefore to face something negative would not be a big issue, and would not prevent us from moving forward.
As the only Indonesian in the Subud Boston group, it is a blessing for me to experience the latihan together with the other members, to experience the regional differences in the latihan as well as in life style, food, culture, climate and "the force". Some situations make you realize that you must be strong inside and out, even humbled sometimes, in order to adapt yourself to unfamiliar circumstances. Ignorance of one's background on the part of others can lead to all sorts of misunderstandings. Often, difficulties in adapting onesself to local conditions can lead outsiders to misinterpret what may seem odd behaviour. The question will often be asked "What's wrong with you?". This can be very depressing for the recipient of such a remark, who may, simply, have been misunderstood. It would be better if people asked, more positively, "What's right with you?" when they see something they perhaps don't understand. Always the message should be positive. Give others the benefit of the doubt and don't judge.
I recently witnessed an exchange between two people, where one, misunderstanding the other over a relatively trivial matter asked "What's wrong with you?" . The negative tone of this exchange made me feel sorry for the recipient, even though that person might not need my sympathy. This question created a chain reation, where I asked myself what was wrong with me. I really empathised with this person, and took on their feelings of embarrasment in a quite personal way.
To rid myself of this negative and depressing feeling, I decided to pose the opposite question: "What's right with me?".
Somehow, turning this negative into a positive question had a healing effect on me and lifted up my spirits, even though it's a slightly odd question to ask of onesself. I knew that it was not an easy one to answer, since it's not something one often thinks consciously about. Perhaps if you could ask the" man in the street: " What is right with you?..." or even your family, or friends....you would receive an interesting reaction......., perhaps as positive a reaction as the opposite would be negative.
It was not easy, (and took some time too), for me to consider "What is right with me?....", but it was soon clear that the question itself evoked an impression of lightness, enabling me to move myself forward,
leaving heaviness of heart behind.As all of you probably know already, what is right and what is wrong for yourself might not work for others.
While sometimes "What is wrong with you?....might be the appropriate question to ask, give a little thought to the power of positive questioning instead. Perhaps "What is right with you" is just the right thing to say sometimes. Regards" Ahmad Jayadi
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| Would you say,"What is right with you?.....!!!!!!!!!! or....... | Log-in or register a new user account | 8 Comments |
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Re: Would you say,
(Score: 1)
by Rush (RMBustillo@aol.com)
on Apr 02, 2002 - 06:14 AM
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Hi Ahmad!
Apa kabar? Hope you are well!
That was a nice read and a very interesting concept to try!
You bring up muisunderstandings which seem to occur more often that we even realize and so it seems we need to really be aware of how we are in the presence of others....the idea of thinking what is right with the person one is speaking to would probably help a great deal in bringing about positive energy. Will try it out and see what happens :-) and in the face of feeling attacked personally - will ask - what is right with me? I'll send you some feedback after trying this out for a week! :-) Maybe this could help begin a chain reaction of positiveness in light of all the negative out there......run with the idea!
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Re: Re: Would you say, by Anonymous on Jun 03, 2002 - 02:57 AMRe: Re: Re: Would you say, by Anonymous on Jul 25, 2003 - 09:53 PM
Re: Would you say,
(Score: 1)
by jocelyn (tojocelyn@aol.com)
on Apr 03, 2002 - 05:01 PM
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Ahmad,
I love your article. We had such fun with this concept in annapolis last month didn't we? Just so you know, we are still saying it to each other! It's catchy and has a way of changing the mood of things! I hope I don't ever adapt to my environment so much that it is impossible for me to stand out and make people say "what's wrong with her"? But wouldn't it be nice if instead, they ask "what's right with her"?
Thanks for sharing this....
Jocelyn
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Re: Would you say,"What is right with you?.....!!!!!!!!!! or.......
(Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Jun 08, 2002 - 11:41 AM
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Nice idea, I would certainly try it. I am writing from city ofPalghat in the state of Kerala in India.
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