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A NEW BOOK ABOUT SEX
(
4334
Reads
)
Posted by
ManuelOliver
Wednesday, February 27, 2002
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Emmanuel Williams invites submissions for a new book for young people
I've been moved to write a book for young people about sex. The book will be based on the question: Should I have sex with this person? - The assumption being that the couple in question aren't married. The aim of the book is not to try to answer this question for the reader, but rather to raise a number of issues, put forward a number of ideas, that will help the reader answer this question for him/herself.
In other words, to make a choice which is as conscious as possible. The core of the book will be the idea that sleeping with someone is a lot more profound and complex than a merely physical act.
If we sleep around then our inners are quite deeply mixed up and darkened by the forces from other people we are intimate with. (See the relevant passages in Susila Budhi Dharma for what Bapak said about this. Also, see Salamah Pope's section in her book Antidote.) My intention is to write this book for NON-SUBUD readers. None of the books for young people about sex that I've read comes anywhere near discussing it from the above point of view. On the other hand, lots of -non-Subud - young people I've discussed this with have intuitively (and often hesitantly) arrived at conclusions in line with the above views.
I'm inviting Subud members who've had experiences/receivings that are in line with what I'm trying to put across in this book to write them down and mail/email them to me. PLEASE REMEMBER THAT THIS BOOK IS FOR
NON-SUBUD READERS - late teens and twenties. 500 - 750 words please.
I talk about God (or Allah, or the Source of all Life); I don't talk about sin, but rather the harm that MAY come from sleeping around. I don't talk about the latihan.
My address is
Emmanuel Williams, 828 Montezuma Rd, Pacifica, CA 94044, USA.
Email: Emmuel4@pacbell.net
Emmanuel Williams, USA
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| A NEW BOOK ABOUT SEX | Log-in or register a new user account | 12 Comments |
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| Comments are statements made by the person that posted them.
They do not necessarily represent the opinions of the site editor. |
Re: A NEW BOOK ABOUT SEX
(Score: 1)
by scca (scca@onebox.com)
on Mar 06, 2002 - 06:22 AM
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You said that in your book you will not talk about ... a lot of things ... "The thing" is that for anyone to real understand ... whatever, he/she has to aim/have thruthfull contents (commom thoughts & feelings are not enough); which hopefully will lead that person to really understand ... We are always leading with personal life forces (nafsus) ... and (hopefully) pursuing The One Realm...
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Re: A NEW BOOK ABOUT SEX
(Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Aug 21, 2002 - 01:38 PM
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ahhhh, more analysis of this profound(?) commodity ...sex.
actually i was going to write a scathing comment along the lines that the issue is clear cut...intimacy after marriage, obvious. absolute.
in the case that one has not the understanding, strength of character, or intergtity to delay then the ramifications are significant and deep rooted.
it is however, possibly true that the subject matter could be readdressed in a clean and clear light, but i think the phrase should be absolute.
harm that 'may come' from being promiscious, to the harm that 'shall accompany' promiscurity.
as started clearly in all major religions...
and clearly by ... Pak Muhammad Subuh Sumohadiwidjojo ...Bapak.
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Re: A NEW BOOK ABOUT SEX
(Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Aug 22, 2002 - 10:08 AM
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Accept it people we are all flesh and blood. Whether we like it or not, we have been placed on this earth in the physical form.
We are human. Yet accept that we at our base level we are animals often lowered by vegetable and material forces. As humans we have great potential, to realise the life force with in us. Call it a soul call it God's essence within our physical form. This soul is infiltrated everyday, in many ways it is intertwined in a symbiotic flow of forces. As humans our job is to receive Gods grace within us, to surrender our limited selves (at the mercy of the forces around us) and ask for God's guidance.
What I am basically trying to say is that sex is often wrapped up with the animal force as well as many of the other forces too. Its especially wrapped up in the animal force when the drives of this force have us by the short and curlies. Most people rarely manage to discipline themselves or control the forces that play havoc with our being, and in turn don't offer them up to God.
Yet we all have the potential to realise our humanity, to feel God's Power and our true personal essence at every point in our life. More specifically here, when we have sex there is the basic biological fact, that we have the chance to conceive life. Surely we all miss the basic point of sex which is to procrete hopefully under the love of God. Everything else beyond that is a animal or human addition. The animal forces in us/ the human forces about unity with ones 'soul mate' before God all make demands on our soul. As physical entities we accept their demands. We cannot avoid that we are flesh and blood and that we struggle with these forces. So all those of us who say we are souls fleeting freely are on Cloud 9. All those who say sexual intercourse not before marriage is an absolute, miss the fact that most of us at the moment don't have the strength to realise that. Lets aspire to this lets support each other as siblings in Subud lets not point the moral finger or cloud the issue with where you think your soul might be. Lets be clear that sex is a beautiful and joyful thing, but lets also accept the forces that wrack our existence are scary and awesome. Lets help each other not tell each other.
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Re: A NEW BOOK ABOUT SEX
(Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Sep 06, 2002 - 02:26 AM
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We've been given something quite new, a receiving which opens an understanding within ourselves of our actions and their consequences. In a way that follows our inner natures and guides their development, this something can sometimes show us that the laws given in the religions- which seem so harsh and so stuffy to so many people today- are right and healthy, in the same natural and unobtrusive way that eating a balanced diet is just better for us than eating lard 3 times a day.
We may come to an understanding that some things, like casual sex, are bad for us, something that we experience when we feel about it in a state of quiet- and so we aim to avoid it if we can. This is fundamentally a non-moral decision, it comes from a gift which we have, and which we if we understand it, may rejoice in. Morals- for all that they may be valuable and coincide with the truth- are a human thing, created to encode truths into society and individual choices, and- as human inventions- have frequently been abused and used wrongly, as they are for example whenever someone judges someone else on moral grounds.
The main point as has already been mentioned in previous comments, is that people who make the choice to avoid pre-marital sex do so out of a feeling that that is the right way for themselves- therefore there shouldn't be any judgement of others, but also it is unfair that they should come in for negative feelings themselves. (accusations of prudishness, etc)
To get back to the book, which started this thread! Its value could be immense in describing the truth which underlies the dogma of religions- but presenting it as the result of experiences, deeply felt instead of taught, something coming from the inside instead of imposed from the outside. So it could be something quite new and valuable to a lot of Subud and especially non-Subud people. Good luck Emmanuel.
I wish I had some contributions to make, but I don't. Are there any others out there who could chip in an interesting story?
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Re: A NEW BOOK ABOUT SEX
(Score: 1)
by Benjamin (eagleofthor@hotmail.com)
on Oct 02, 2002 - 04:56 PM
(User information | Send a message http://)
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He was lying atop her. He was leaving tomorrow. They were playing the laughter game. See who could enjoy this more, be more enjoyable. There was a silence. She looked to her right, at her dresser. There was a clock there, but she was just looking at her mess of books and pictures. She looked back up to him.
He: Do you feel that?
Yeah. I do.
It's Now.
Yes. It is.
The wowed in the now together, til it passed.
*
He doesn't believe in poetry, but he let himself write this song:
I'd like to get to know you
If you would
I know that stranger things have happened
And if disaster strikes well
Maybe it should
Change can be a bandage just as much as infection (oh)
In dreams a volatile smile's dripping blood
Fully equipt with the threat
Of Impossibility
What wind is this, coals of glass, breakings in
Am I raping Reason or making love
To Simplicity?
Sunday evening's wicked; the afternoon is blank
Sunday morning's running thin
If Justice is a woman, why's she so g.d. cold
If Eros is a kid how come his arrows are so thick with sin?
In Utero a volatile smile's dripping blood
I'm favoring the book Yourself (oh, oh)
Cut the sword, sever the whip, restrain the hapless word
Sometimes the book won't fit back
On the shelf.
He sang this to her a cappella, the Sunday night before he flew back to Portland. They were on her back porch and they had just gotten tangled up in something difficult.
Earlier, she was straddling his lap and he was using his hands to memorize her body, to take back to Portland with him, to touch at his leisure. Hips. Sides of midriff. Ribcage. About six inches from the groining work of her arms, she clinched up. Said stop. Then demanded it. He looked into her eyes. He told her he wasn't doing anything but touching. Feeling. She knew that, but her whole body was pinched, as if she were chewing on a power line.
He didn't move his hands, either away or further. He kept them where they were. And even thought she was resisting, causing him to use force, he relaxed. Not his grip, but his self, his voice. Relax, he said. She wanted to, saw plainly she could trust him. But it was all her body.
Something told him to listen. In her resistance, in her body he felt something. Not sensed, but actually felt it. The feeling entered his palms and went into his chest. It was sad. So sad he had to let go, turn his face in another direction.
I'm sorry I did that, he said, on the porch, smoking cigarettes with her and shaking his head. I wasn't meaning to be cruel. I just... I don't know why I didn't let go...
He felt horrible. For not letting go when she said to. For doing something to her she didn't want. But at the same time, it was real, that sadness. Maybe hidden, guarded, but very real.
I was looking into your eyes, she said, and I knew I could trust you. I even did trust you, in my head. But my body...
Forgive me, Kate.
She's not too used to this sort of thing. His language. It feels a little overwrought to her. But she hears his sincerity. Appreciates it, like a bow in greeting or in thanks. Like a theological argument.
Why? she asked.
For trespassing. I won't do that again. I promise.
*
They go back into her bedroom, resume their play. Her body in that patch beneath her arms is hyper sensitive now. They figure out ways to avoid it.
Then he says some things. Little things. He's joking, but they all add up. The truth is, his prostrate is the size of a golf ball. Okay, maybe a robin's egg. And even though he likes to think he's good about not letting this pressure show, it does. They've been touching each other for three days now, and some part of h
Read the rest of this comment...
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Good Work by robin on Oct 04, 2002 - 08:39 AM
Re: A NEW BOOK ABOUT SEX
(Score: 1)
by HarunKennedy (Harun@Subudlife.com)
on Oct 04, 2002 - 06:47 AM
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Benjamin
Although the prudish, or alternatively more dignified amongst us will find this a bit much, I reckon you've written a great and honest account of a boy-men's tense sexual journey. I could feel the sexual tension ooozing off the page. Its also helpful that you have written such, its the other dimension or angle on the issue of "sex". The effort that it takes to improve and be a strong human being, no matter the issue, in many cases in Subud leads other people to neglect the empathy and attention to those pressures of "the reality" of day to day life in the given area.
We, well most of us, have a limited ability to handle all the realities of sex, and certainly don't have the guts to speak openly and clearly about the full panolpy of issues. I am not saying you have here, but you certainly shed light on what most guys go through. I am not sure I agree on your conclusions, but your article will help ease the process of bringing all this properly into the open. Because to realise the right behaviour, to realise the morality that we ideally should follow we need to face how we act to begin with. How we discover, explore and act along the sexual path.
What you have written comes from a very male perspective and doesn't really present the female one. I for one, don't reckon many guys, myself included, could quite manage to have the female version of your article. Perhaps I am a bit of a prud at heart, myself. Also, perhaps we guys also need to learn the subconscious pressure we put on females, and whether we could accept their reverse angle view of it all. Hey that's about being female and male together...........
Harun.
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Re: A NEW BOOK ABOUT SEX
(Score: 1)
by LucasAdamson (lucasadamson@hotmail.com)
on Feb 11, 2003 - 12:03 PM
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I find it really hard to respect the views of those who moralise, using Bapak's supposed words for support, whilst remaining safely anonymous. It is both cowardly and not in the spirit of Subud.
Personally, I do not belive that sex out of marriage is intrinsically destructive, as in a way, sex IS marriage, the marriage of two people's souls. Wedlock is almost defined by the sex act. If and when two people break up, whether married or not, that's another matter, which can, and I stress "can," be really harmful and destructive, in my experience. I cannot, however, bring myself to associate with some of the anonymous views posted earlier on this thread, even if they are in accord with the way I actually live my life.
I really appreciated your honesty Benjamin, and believe this clearly shows that when we open up to the world, far from laughing at us, or not understanding our innermost expressions, the reader is set free by them, and given permission to open up too, having realised that they are not alone. It's extremely healthy, and truly one of the higher purposes of art, to express yourself in this way. This kind of courage is much more helpful to us all, young or old, than being told what to do, or in the case of pre-marital sex, what not to do.
With love
Lucas
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Re: A NEW BOOK ABOUT SEX
(Score: 1)
by Martijn_le_Noble on Jul 26, 2005 - 12:44 AM
(User information | Send a message http://www.plakplaats.tk)
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Hello,
I can recommend you the song 'Sex'
by the 'band' Berlin!
Safe sex is Internet sex,
and I can reassure you I met many more women
I would or could possibly meet in real life.
greetz, bye,
Martijn
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