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simonelw
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Post subject:
 Posted: Feb 01, 2007 - 12:08 AM
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Directed Jiwa
Joined: Mar 29, 2004
Posts: 45
Location: London, England
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| That remains to be seen my young jedi lol |
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Post subject:
Posted: Jan 31, 2007 - 06:04 AM
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Jiwa Dancer
Joined: Mar 23, 2004
Posts: 18
Location: Christchurch New Zealand
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ya elias  if i vs u again in the tournament though ur gonna get beat. |
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Post subject:
Posted: Jan 31, 2007 - 04:04 AM
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Directed Jiwa
Joined: Mar 29, 2004
Posts: 45
Location: London, England
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Heya Matt nice to see you here in the world of subud life.
Look forward to the fusball innit.
Elias.  |
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Post subject: RE: 2 poems. dont laugh.
Posted: Jan 28, 2007 - 07:59 AM
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Jiwa Dancer
Joined: Mar 23, 2004
Posts: 18
Location: Christchurch New Zealand
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well to be honest i let it just flow out and let the ideas shape as go, so the start is generally random ideas until i pick up on something.
and i tend to never "refine"
once a poems written for me its done and i dont go back to it 
i just keep writting
and as for my saying dont laugh, spose it was a bad comment,
but the forums i usually go to are of a more teen gaming crowd.
so dont laugh is a general starting point when it comes to poetry.
oh and yes the first one COULD be a song except i havent put music to it
and i figure lyrics are poetry with a rhythm and tune so i'll class it as
poetry until it has those to go with it. |
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Post subject: RE: 2 poems. dont laugh.
Posted: Jan 28, 2007 - 02:59 AM
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7th Level Skirter
Joined: Jan 11, 2006
Posts: 136
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Now why would we laugh? I like your ideas, although both poems could be refined a bit. The first one could be lyrics to a song. The message of the second poem is not entirely clear, e.g., the second line of the first stanza.
Welcome back and thanks for sharing.  |
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Post subject: 2 poems. dont laugh.
Posted: Jan 26, 2007 - 01:16 AM
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Jiwa Dancer
Joined: Mar 23, 2004
Posts: 18
Location: Christchurch New Zealand
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Untitled
"For the fear of hurting you,
just dont know what to do,
just keeps goin on,
& everything feels so wrong,
like maybe your not true,
but for the fear of hurting you.
So it hurts in any way you can find,
so why must i always be so kind?
if you think that im here forever,
then baby your out of your mind...
But for the fear of hurting you,
seems unreal & untrue,
and no matter what i do,
it comes down to,
the fear of hurting you."
&
Echo of silence
"this is the last time i'll say this to you,
a repeated lesson lost in time,
interesting you dont say what you mean,
on the souls of our ancestors we climb
a story of mistakes untold,
but so many times repeated,
why is this what we always do?
in our ways we are conceited
but i will cling on to my message of hope,
to break the wheel of time and fate,
to follow a path much closer to heart,
and cleanse my soul of sadness and hate.
a dream this must seem to you not awake,
an echo of silence cast through an abyss,
a wisp of a handle hold on a cloud as it seems,
an opportunity i plead that no one should miss."
my first attempts to write in years,
so basically im way out of practice. |
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